Turning off the inner critic!
“Everyone is more talented and I don’t have what it takes.”
“I always mess up every time I try.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to go through with it.”
“I can’t do it.”
“If I try, I’m going to look stupid.”
Have these questions ever popped into your mind?
Where do these thoughts come from? Why do they always come up before you are supposed to shine in a moment of greatness?
What are these thoughts? They are a small voice inside our head that is your inner critic.
WHAT IS THE INNER CRITIC
The inner critic stems from fear (fear of failure, fear of success, fear of judgment, fear of rejection).
The inner critic only speaks negative thoughts and fears and it never has anything nice to say to you!
It never encourages you and it never wants you to succeed! It’s job is to put you down until you listen to those self-defeating thoughts. Their purpose is for you to quit and give up.
Harsh criticism may be a learned behavior stemming from childhood experiences. Perhaps you often heard criticism from a loved one or perhaps you developed insecurities which led you to develop inner criticism as a defense mechanism.
Regardless of how that critical voice began to speak to you, it’s time to shut the voice down. It does not serve you in any way. In fact, its a voice that will suffocate your greatness.
Let’s start with identifying when the inner critic enters the room.
IDENTIFYING THE INNER CRITIC
The inner critic will always show up when you have something great to do or when you set goals for yourself. It doesn’t like the unknown or you stepping out of your comfort zone to achieve greatness.
It wants you to stay stuck in low self-esteem and low self-worth. It lies to you by convincing you that you're not capable of doing the very thing you’re setting yourself to do.
It wants you to look at what’s wrong with you rather than what is good and right about you. It wants you to feel self-doubt and question your potential.
Your inner critic wants to keep you safe from rejection, failure, and abandonment and so it will tell you lies in order for you quit before you even start.
It will motivate you to give up by feeding you the lie, “it’s too hard, you’re going to fail.” “You can’t do it, don’t try.” “You are not that good.” “Everyone else is better than you.” The list goes on and on with the negative thoughts that pile up in your head.
It bombards you with negative emotions by essentially putting you down to cause you to focus on your weaknesses or inadequacies.
HOW THE INNER CRITIC AFFECTS ASPIRING ARTISTS
Listening to the inner critic is so detrimental especially to aspiring artists! It is the reason why many aspiring artists quit or don’t try hard enough to move past these thoughts.
When you believe the lies of the inner critic, you succumb to a life of mediocrity and safety. That’s what the inner critic wants from you. It wants you to be average by making you fearful of being great and successful.
It wants you to believe that you’re going to be rejected and fail. It wants you to be protected from pain and suffering so the voice wants to convince you to avoid it by staying small and insignificant.
It wants you to hide away in smallness so that you do not share your greatness with others!
I recently went to see MJ the Musical on Broadway. It was the show about Michael Jackson’s incredible life and music.
He is one of the greatest entertainers of all time. Now, Michael Jackson’s unique and unparalleled artistry has finally arrived on Broadway in a brand-new musical. Centered around the making of his 1992 Dangerous World Tour, and created by Tony Award®-winning Director/Choreographer Christopher Wheeldon and two-time Pulitzer Prize winner Lynn Nottage, MJ goes beyond the singular moves and signature sound of the star, offering a rare look at the creative mind and collaborative spirit that catapulted Jackson into legendary status..
No one can deny the true artistry Michael displayed time after time in every concert. Michael was a genius in his music and performances.
The reason why he was a beloved global artist is because he worked so hard to be the very best performer he could be. He sought greatness and achieved it. In fact, he was so great in his artistry that his fans adored him. He achieved the highest level of fame that artists dream of.
But his fame and artistry came at a high price! Numerous documentaries have told the story of Michael’s early beginnings and how harsh his father was towards him and his brothers. The Broadway show confirmed his difficult upbringing.
His father, Joe Jackson, was essentially a harsh critic of his sons. He did not tolerate mediocrity in their performances and made them practice for hours on end. The Jackson 5 were not allowed to play outside or enjoy a normal childhood.
One can argue that his stern style for managing his sons worked because The Jackson 5 achieved the highest level of success. They became a household name producing numerous hits and stardom which took them around the world.
For many years, Michael’s life was a great story of success. But the effects of this success led its superstar to ultimately lose his life. Michael was gone too soon, a tragedy which possibly resulted from the criticism he grew up listening to from his father’s harsh words and the media’s treatment and criticism of his life.
The Broadway show painted a picture of an artist who was constantly hurt by his father’s harshness. He, too, was hard on himself. He demanded and expected a lot of himself and was obsessed with perfection. We the audience sensed his sadness and pain in the midst of his greatness.
CHARACTERISTICS OF THE INNER CRITIC
The inner critic shows up in our lives in different ways. The critical voice and negativity will either push you to try really hard and over do it or to give up altogether.
In Michael’s case, the constant criticism from his father, which he eventually took on for himself, led him to become a perfectionist.
Michael was made to feel like he was not good enough and so he pushed himself hard and ultimately became a perfectionist on stage.
He tried very hard to gain his father’s approval but his father never affirmed him the way he wanted. He spent his life seeking perfection for approval.
The inner critic voice will sometimes show up in your life as being a perfectionist. In other words, nothing you do is ever good enough. You become very critical of yourself and are never satisfied with your performance so you will overcompensate because your performance doesn’t match your “perceived perfection.”
Sometimes being a perfectionist is a good way to show up as being your best self, but it's easy to become obsessive with perfection. In the end, you lose sight of the joy of being an artist.
Be careful with how you obsess over perfection; sometimes your best is good enough.
The inner critic can also show up as a harsh taskmaster where you feel the need to constantly work hard and do something over and over to achieve success. You tire yourself out because you don’t want to be mediocre.
This form of criticism is harsh treatment towards yourself because you don’t know when to stop and accept your work for what its worth.
Another characteristic of the inner critic is to sabotage your self confidence. It wants you to believe that you’re not good enough. That no matter how much you try you don’t have what it takes and so it tries to keep you feeling small and insignificant.
It causes you to not break free from your perceived smallness. It wants you to stay safe in a little bubble of mediocrity. It wants you to not suffer pain or rejection. Sadly, when you listen to it, you don’t try to be the great artist that deep in your heart you know you are.
HOW DO YOU SILENCE THE INNER CRITIC
Once you recognize that you have an inner critic working against you and undermining your success, you must learn to silence it.
It’s not easy at first because you’ve become accustomed to hearing that negative voice which sounds a lot like your voice! But I promise, its not your voice. God didn’t give you a critical voice! He designed you to be bold, strong and courageous.
That inner critical voice may have attached to you during experiences you had earlier in your life. It tried to protect you from future pain and suffering and so it became a voice of reason and protection but in reality it has been a hindrance.
We want to help you silence it and turn a new leaf of living without it having any more influence in your life.
In our next blog we will share ways that you can recognize when it’s working against you and how to silence it. But first, it was important for you to be aware of the inner critic so that you can recognize it when it appears.
We will share tips that will help you begin the journey to break free from negativity and let the inner voice of affirmation be the one to lead you towards your greatness.
Until then, keep being amazing,
MRJ
xoxoxo