Let go and let God. My Story. Part 1

How many times have you heard the phrase “let go and let God?” If you’re honest, you probably hear it more than you’d like. And whenever you do hear it, it probably has no connection to you because there’s nothing happening in your life that would make it relevant to you.

I was thinking about this phrase recently when speaking to a friend who was going through a situation and before I could offer any advice, she said, “I’m just going to let go and let God.”

I thought it was so wise of her to say this and come to her own final conclusion. It sounded to me like she didn’t need any advice from me. Nor did she need anyone else to weigh in about what she should or should not do.

It also sounded to me like she knew enough to simply trust God with the situation and surrender to the process. She wasn’t willing to keep fighting or going against the tide. She was going to surrender her situation and let God have His way because she had no control.  

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LET GO?

Letting go and letting God means that we surrender even though it doesn’t seem to be the natural or logical thing to do.

Many times, we want to retain control and force things to happen because we expect they are supposed to happen and it’s our job to make them happen. But honestly, we just don’t know enough about life and about the things that life throws our way to make the right decisions.

For example, say you’re trying to get the person you love to love you in return. But no matter what you do or say or try to make happen, they are not receptive or willing to change. Do you keep forcing the situation or do you let go and let God?

“Letting go and letting God means that we surrender even though it doesn’t seem to be the natural or logical thing to do.”

My friends, we need to understand when to let go and let God! We need to know when it’s time to surrender to the process and allow cards to fall where they must.

If something is meant for you, it will happen. It will find its way back to you!

LETTING GO

I have seen this in my life so many times and yet I’m still learning how to lose my grip on the things I have no control over. Sometimes, it’s hard to sit back and let things take care of themselves. If you’re like me, you might find the need to keep control.

I’m still learning that there are things I shouldn’t force to happen because I think they should happen.

Let me share a little bit of my story of how letting go and letting God became a reality for me in one of the most important seasons of my life.

MY STORY

When I was younger, I dreamed to sing and perform and travel the world. I wanted to be as famous as my heroes (Janet Jackson, Madonna, Mariah). I began focusing on my music career and investing time and money into making my dreams come true.

I knew that if I worked hard, I would find opportunities to sing, write and perform. Now, I wasn’t the greatest singer nor the greatest dancer but I had this vision in my pretty little head of seeing myself on stage and connecting with an audience and spreading joy through music.

That vision was the driving force behind pursuing my dream despite not being the most talented in comparison to my musical heroes. I would go to bed thinking about different places and venues where I would sing. 

Anticipating my dream to sing…

Every day, I listened to my CD Walkman and sang as I commuted into the office/

In fact, I worked in NYC at the time, it was the most likely place to get discovered. Every day on my commute to the office, I walked listening to my CD walkman (yes, those existed back then, ha!).  As I listened to my music and walked at the speed of every other office worker rushing to get into work, I was the only one in the crowd singing out loud.

I walked briskly and sang the songs I was listening to so that people could hear I was a singer, I was standing out amongst the crowd as an office worker who knew how to sing.

In New York City, you never knew if someone walking beside you at your pace and who wore dark sunglasses and a hat might be a well-known producer.

I just never knew if I might run into Jimmy Jam or Terry Lewis looking for their next breakthrough artist. I wanted them to find me if I were walking beside them. Every day I naively expected to get handed a record contract and get signed by a label right then and there on the streets of New York City.

Looking back, I literally am laughing at myself. I can’t believe how I thought that I could accomplish becoming an artist. It was so wildly innocent (and foolish and naive) to think that I would get discovered on 6th Avenue and 48th Street. 

I mean, I had it all planned out. I thought if the next big-time producer approached me randomly because he walked past me and heard me singing, and said “wow, who are you? come with me to my office, I want to sign you to a deal” I would have said “sure,” then called my office from a public pay phone (yes, those existed too, ha!) and let them know I was not going to the office ever again because I was resigning.

“I would have said “sure,” then called my office from a public pay phone and resigned on the spot!”

I fantasized about my dream happening that way! I had it all figured out and ready to execute because I was so sure it would happen that way.

I didn’t factor in all the networking I had to do to meet with industry people, nor all the clubs I had to go to to meet producers who were willing to play my music, nor the quality of music I needed to create in order to break into the business.  

I hadn’t factored in ANY of that! I lived in this “la la” fantasy world where everything would go smoothly and easily and at 21 years old, I would get signed to a major label. I thought, who would I sign with? Would I change my name? What stage name did I like? 

In my world, everything I wanted was at my fingertips and it was just a matter of time before I got the dream artist life I wanted. I was actually working at the time with a NYC producer, I had a NYC manager, and I had a NYC vocal coach.  Everything was in place for me to succeed.

But guess what, life happened and my aspiring artist career came quickly to an end. I lost my voice for nearly 3 months. I was told by my vocal coach I would need surgery to correct vocal damage and I got scared. Real scared! 

I didn’t want to get surgery. I thought, what if they botch the procedure and I could never speak or sing again? My fantasy world turned upside down and all I could think about was the things that would go wrong if I went through with it.

Thinking back now, I realized the vocal coach who told me I might need surgery and my career would need to be paused, probably was inflecting her fears on me. She wasn’t a doctor, yet, she gave me a medical assessment that probably was beyond her scope of work.

She did, however, give me one good piece of advice and that was to drink water and stay on vocal rest for as long as I could.

I tried my best to listen to her advice and I stopped singing and practicing together. I mean, I went cold turkey! Do you know how hard it is to not do what you love and were created to do?

It was so hard to not use my voice because I was always humming a tune or humming a melody! It would happen instinctively and without me realizing that I was singing or humming. 

However, it wasn't hard at all to stop humming or singing because at the time, if I tried to do so, nothing would come out of my voice. My vocal cords were very swollen and they could not produce a sound.

I found myself whispering and even that felt painful because it took so much effort to produce a whispering sound.

WARNING

Word of advice, if you’re hoarse and or are struggling with your voice due to a cold or sickness or over usage, don’t whisper because it is not healthy when your cords are swollen or aggravated. The best thing to do is not to vocalize at all until you’re fully recovered.

For several weeks, I put my music career on pause and decided it was important for me to heal thoroughly before I could get back to work on it. The less time I spent talking, the more comfortable I felt like I was getting my voice back.

And after several weeks, my natural voice returned to me. I could speak, I could whisper. I wasn’t hoarse or raspy. I started to sound like myself again. I was so happy and excited and I couldn’t wait to start singing again.

However, I didn’t want to re-create the damage I had done and so I didn’t start singing or going to smoky clubs right away. 

Not too long after recovering my voice, another life event happened that changed everything for me and I was not able to get back into music at all. I took these situations as signs that I was not supposed to sing or be an artist!

THEN WHAT?

Tune back in next week’s blog to follow my journey on what happened next and how I had to come to grips that I had to let go and let God!

Until then, keep being amazing,

MRJ

xoxo