Getting rid of fear!

If you read my last blog, you will recall I shared a little about my journey to become a pop artist! I had it all mapped out on how I would get discovered on the streets of NYC and get signed to a major label. My plan came from my wild imagination!

I blame my youthfulness and naivety for thinking the process would be simple. Hindsight 20/20, having a naive plan is better than no plan at all.

I also shared how in the middle of this naive plan I completely lost my voice! It was gone for several months. Eventually my voice returned and I could speak and sing normally but something worse happened to me.

I developed a fear that if I continued to sing, I would lose my voice again. I sang in the shower and in my car on the ride to work but I didn’t want to sing too much because of fear.  I was afraid nodules were the cause of my vocal loss and I rationalized that they would get worse causing me to lose my voice completely.

The wise thing to have done was to visit an ENT to find out if I had vocal nodules or not. I didn’t do that. Fear caused my active imagination to run wild and accept the “potential” diagnosis given to me by my vocal teacher. She suggested vocal nodules might be the problem. I accepted her “guess” as being right even though she was not a medical professional.

My rationale was that I probably had nodules which caused me to lose my voice in the first place. I felt that if I continued singing I would trigger them again. My voice got better and felt healthy, yet, my wild imagination rationalized that if I got discovered on the streets of NYC and I got signed to a label and I went on tour, the vocal nodules would return and I’d never sing or speak again!

Slowly, the brave, imaginative and fearless girl I was began to fade away! I honestly was afraid to sing. I let fear take root in my heart and I stopped singing and songwriting all together. I turned my back on music and didn’t look back. Instead, I pursued my professional business career and settled for being in an office doing office life. 

Does fear have that much power?

Fear is the culprit for many missed opportunities and dreams that are put on hold! 

The rationale to turn my back on music and move on without it was a foolish one. Had I tried a little harder, I would have discovered that I didn’t have vocal nodules. There was nothing wrong with my voice. I simply overused it and needed healing and focusing on proper singing technique.

I didn’t know this at the time because I let fear narrate a different story. The fearless girl I was should have said to herself, “you know what, I’m going to pursue music at any cost, if I lose my voice and never speak again, so be it! “It’s better to have a taste of temporary fame than no fame at all!”

Don’t make my same mistake!

I don’t want you to ever make the mistake I made. Fear comes in many ways and at a heavy cost. It will close doors of opportunity that are meant for you.  It will prevent you from achieving and doing things that you are destined to do.

When you allow fear to dictate your life, it essentially robs you of your destiny and purpose! If you don’t take chances on your dream, or remain fearful, you’ll never experience the joy that your artistry brings not only to you but to those you're meant to touch.  

If you close your heart to opportunities, you’ll never discover how that opportunity is meant to teach you something or connect you one step closer to your destiny. 

Excuses are a sign of hidden fear!

More often than not, I’ve seen aspiring artists say they are waiting for the right moment to get started. 

I get it, life can get really busy and if you don’t manage your time well, you’ll always be waiting for the time when life slows down to get started on your music goals. To this rationale I say, when does life ever slow down? 

Will life ever slow down enough for you to have time to focus on your music goals?

Some aspiring artists take the initiative to start training for their goals but constantly allow other “priorities'' to rob their time. They tend not to follow through on their music commitment. 

They cancel training sessions constantly or don’t show up consistently for music training. Sometimes these bad habits are a sign of an embedded fear that manifests itself as being busy but in reality, it’s just fear.

Fear is hiding in the background justifying why you should cancel your training or not show up for rehearsal or call out sick for a performance. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes there are unavoidable circumstances that may prevent you from showing up. When it happens, it’s a legitimate cause that has nothing to do with fear.

But I’m talking about the habitual excuses that occur causing you to not be consistent and faithful to your commitment. If you find yourself missing 3 out of 5 sessions, take a deep look inside and be honest with yourself. Is fear motivating this instability?  

My advice to you!

I now understand this whole fear thing better because it’s what I experienced. I was essentially afraid to be a singer; I didn’t know that. I allowed the idea of vocal nodules scare me into inaction.

That is why I gave up on my dream to sing as soon as I faced my first challenge. It was much easier to quit than to confront my fear head on.

Again, I don’t want this to happen to you. If you’re pursuing a music calling, be brave and courageous. Don’t allow fear to trap you into quitting, cancelling or finding excuses on why you can’t do something.

Be super determined to achieve your music calling, let nothing stop you from achieving it.

Be brave and courageous.

I recently watched Home Alone 2 for the millionth time. But this time, I heard with fresh ears the dialogue between Kevin had and the Pigeon Lady. What they spoke, resonated so strongly with me.

Ironically, the scene took place in the attic of a Symphony Hall. They were there to find warmth and listen to beautiful music. They began to discuss keeping an open heart! Pigeon Lady was saying how she was afraid to trust people because she’s experienced having her heart broken. Kevin shared a really insightful truth as his response to her…”if you aren’t gonna use your heart, what’s the difference if it gets broken.”

That is powerful truth, right there!

I had never paid attention to this dialogue before, but it stood out to me because I am now in a new stage in life where I am embarking on new things. We will always have to struggle with fear as we step into things.

I’m now more aware on what to look for so I don’t hijack my destiny by allowing fear to prevent me from doing all the things I’m destined to do.

If you’ve determined in your heart that you have a music calling to fulfill, what’s the difference if you face challenges?

Yes, there will be circumstances that may frighten you but don’t let fear stop you from following your calling wholeheartedly!

I want to leave you with the very wise dialogue from Home Alone 2.  Take it to heart and never let fear of “anything” stop you!

Keep being amazing,

MRJ

xoxo