Am I good enough?
Self Doubt! The enemy to becoming greater!
How many times have you doubted yourself as a singer? Can I ask you these questions?
Do you often compare yourself, your voice, your image to your favorite artists?
Do you seem to feel confident one day but then lose it on other days?
Do you allow self-doubt thoughts to keep you from putting yourself out there?
Are you afraid of what people will think or say about you if you put yourself out there?
If you’ve answered yes to one or all of these questions, you’re not alone! Every aspiring artist has at some point struggled with these same issues We all question our self-worth! I don’t know why? But we just do!
It’s like we tend to devalue ourselves simply because it feels strange to value ourselves. The opposite of self-worth is self-doubt.
We tend to devalue ourselves simply because it feels strange to value ourselves!
Where does this negative self-worth come from? Are we born with it? Do we develop it? We are not born with it but sadly, self doubt develops over time based on negative experiences. Our experiences over time develop a mindset of either negative and positive emotions. The more we feed those negative emotions, the stronger they develop a habit of negative outcomes. We begin to respond from a place of scarcity where we think we don’t have what it takes to be great.
We feel like everyone else has all the talent, all the ability, all the money, resources, connections to be successful but we don’t have what they have and lack it (scarcity mindset)! The opposite is true! If we believe that we have access to develop more talent and ability and have access to resources, then we, too, will be successful!
How do I know if I have a negative self worth?
Think about when someone compliments you. How do you react? If someone says, “I love how you sang that song!” Which of the statements below have you responded with?
Aww, I messed up a few times!
I think I was off key in some parts!
I was really nervous and could’ve done better!
Thank You!
Most people, will always downplay a compliment by pointing out the negative rather than the positive! We tend to want to be viewed as being humble (false humility) and will do our best to downplay the nice things others will do or say to us. Don’t get me wrong, its not that this is wrong but every time you downplay yourself, you are convincing yourself you are not worthy! This is an indication that you are focusing on your faults rather than your strengths.
I’m here to tell you that:
You DO have what it takes!
You ARE good enough!
This blog post won’t change your mind over night but if you focus on your value and self-worth; over time, you will develop better thoughts about yourself!
How do I overcome self doubt?
#1 - Awareness!
The first step to overcome self doubt is to recognize (be aware) that you are have self doubt!
“The first step to change is awareness.” Nathan Branden
Pay attention to your response next time someone compliments you. It doesn’t matter if they’re complimenting you on your voice, your performance or something unrelated to music. No matter what the compliment is for, be aware of the kind of response your brain is coming up with and take hold of that negative thought.
Test your response before you speak it! Is it coming from a place of appreciation or deprivation? You have a split second to decide if you’re going to downplay yourself or if you will uplift yourself!
#2 - Check your thoughts at the door!
Don’t open the door to ANY negative thoughts that may try to come out of your moth. You have to shut the door to negativity, my friend! If you’re comparing your talent and ability to someone else, cancel every thought that tries to put YOU down. Don’t let negativity enter into your thoughts and out of your mouth. Think more highly of yourself and accept the compliment of your strengths!
If someone compliments you, you can no longer downplay yourself. Replace negative thoughts that devalue your talent or ability. Simply thank them for their kind words! You can say…
“Thank you so much!”
“Thank you, I appreciate the encouragement!”
“Thank you, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! (or liked it).”
#3 - Talk yourself into action!
There are those days when life issues stand in the way between our self-doubt and our confidence. Perhaps the weather has affected your voice and you might not be able to hit those high notes (that day)! Don’t base your self-worth on one bad day.
"Every day can’t be a 5-Star day!”
I mentioned this phrase to a young lady the other day because she was beating herself up for not being as motivated that day. She felt tired and a bit lazy and felt bad about it. I told her “sweetheart, every day can’t be a 5-Star day!”
The phrase came out of me automatically and it stuck with me. Now I’m sharing it with you. You have to be ok knowing that everyday is not meant to be a 5-Star Day! Some days are better than others. Some days you’ll be able to do wonders with your abilities and others you may not be able to! It’s ok!
The important thing is not to quit or give up nor put yourself down! If you’re having a bad day, you’re just having A bad day! Accept it and move on!
Talk yourself into action. Positive self talk will uplift you every single time! Tell yourself you’re going to work a little harder the next day when your emotions and ability line up perfectly together. Get yourself some rest, listen to some positive music (or come back and re-read this post)! Self-talk yourself into the things you want to accomplish and hold yourself accountable for doing so!
Look at yourself in the mirror and let yourself know that you got this! Whatever you can’t do today, you’re going to do it tomorrow because you’re going to work at it and you’re not giving up until you’re able to do it.
There is so much more we can talk about overcoming self doubt but I’ll leave this here for now because this is ALL you need to get started!
I believe in you and you should believe in you too!
Hey, if you don’t mind, leave me a comment and let me know how you’ve overcome self-doubt.
Take care of your thoughts! Keep being amazing!
MRJ