Singers: do you need validation?
As singers, we are drawn to the need for applause, a pat in the back, or get likes to affirm to us that we did a good job! But what happens when there’s no applause, or a pat in the back or no likes? Does that mean you are not worthy or valuable?
I get it! It’s risky to put yourself on display and be vulnerable by sharing your skills to the world! There are some people who share the most ridiculous things on social media and the likes and comments flood their page! And others share really great content but they won’t hear a peep from anyone! If you fall in the latter bucket, then this post is for you!
Validation!
“recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.”
WHAT IS VALIDATION?
Webster’s definition of validation is “recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.” Generally speaking, we all have been created equal which means that every single person on this planet has the same right to have an opinion; whether that opinion is valuable or not depends on the situation.
This means that if someone’s opinion of you or the way you sing, sound, perform is not to their liking, their opinion is not a reflection of you, your worth and your value. In other words, they have the right to have an opinion but that opinion is not the final say in terms of your worth or value.
For example, my husband likes vanilla ice cream but hates chocolate ice cream. I love chocolate ice cream and can care less for vanilla. Regardless of our opinions, ice cream is still tasty, refreshing, enjoyable for everyone who likes it. His opinion doesn’t change this fact. It’s just his opinion. I’ll eat chocolate ice cream every single day regardless if my husband likes it or not. His view doesn’t take away from the tastiness of it and my opinion doesn’t take away from the value of vanilla ice cream.
Flavors are intended to give options to consumers of ice cream. Why? Because everyone has different likes and tastes. Imagine a world with the same flavor for everyone? Consumers wouldn’t get to experience the enjoyment of other flavors, textures and tastes.
The same goes for singers! If everyone sang the same, or have the same sounding voice, timbre and resonance, how would listeners experience variety? They wouldn’t experience the beauty in the different voice colors.
HOW TO DEAL WITH VALIDATION!
Do you need validation? As a singer, do you need to be validated? This is a delicate question. As humans, we all desire approval and the confirmation that we’re on the right track. Getting validation is embedded in our human DNA. You will see it in babies when they’re doing something and they look back to the parent to see if the parent approves or not. They weren’t told to check in with the parent yet, they instinctively know to look at their parent. That’s how we know we’re born with the need for approval or not.
Another definition for validation is “the action of checking or proving the validity or accuracy of something.”
Validation is important, we need it because it was given to us as a way to understand that something is accurate or on the right path. In scientific terms, studies that are validated, prove they went through the necessary processes to ensure accuracy and levels of confidence in the results. Validation has its place in certain areas and industries, however, we, as singers/performers, must give validation a healthy place!
If you post a video of yourself singing and don’t get any likes or comments, does that validate who you are as a singer? Just because you don’t get likes or comments on the things you share, has nothing to do with your skill and the value of your content. You may have people who just love it but for some reason, they may not hit that like button. Or they don’t want you to know they liked it and so they give you no feedback.
No likes or comments doesn’t mean that your talent is not good, it simply means there was no feedback at that moment. Trust and believe when people don’t like content, they will speak up and let themselves be heard. Even then, take negative feedback with a grain of salt! Remember, your unique gift is just that, unique! It may not be the flavor that someone likes so if they don’t like it, that is on them and not a reflection of you.
To answer the question we started with, do you need validation? Yes but no! The ones who love what you bring to them will validate the hard work you put in. However, be careful who you seek validation from, not everyone will like the flavor you bring, and that’s ok. They should not stop you from doing what you are meant to do. Opinions are just opinions and as long as you continue to improve and get better at your craft, validation will come easier and easier. Your fans will grow to love you and they will demand for more of your voice and your music.
Keep being amazing,
MRJ